


Dubbi

by helvetesfonster



Series: Mio Fratello [3]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M, slight implicit homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25925515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helvetesfonster/pseuds/helvetesfonster
Summary: Terzo has doubts.
Relationships: Papa Emeritus III/Omega | Quintessence Ghoul
Series: Mio Fratello [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873867
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	Dubbi

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“You know exactly what you’re doing. Plus, they’re staring.”

“Who?”

“People.”

“Well, we’re not technically people.”

“You know what I mean, Omega.” Terzo murmured and furrowed his eyebrows, sighing shakily. He took a few steps back from the ghoul, who kept brushing his fingers against his own gloved ones. “Don’t touch me like that. They’ll think I’m…” He cleared his throat and shrugged a shoulder, quickly stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Gay?” 

A crimson shade appeared on Terzo’s cheeks, so intense that it was even noticeable through his face paint. The fifteen year old had been struggling with his sexuality for a while now. He had always heard that the Church welcomed and accepted everyone; sexual orientation wasn’t an issue. But nice words on paper didn’t exactly soothe Terzo from his fears, nor make some of the ghouls stop bullying him. How was he supposed to believe that, when he had already received so many judging stares and snickers whenever he was ‘too flamboyant’ for his own good? That’s what Nihil had said at least. Accepting himself for who he really was seemed almost impossible to achieve. The raven haired boy truly believed he had already disappointed his father enough. There was no need to continue adding to it. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, Terzo scoffed and looked away briskly, a strand of hair falling onto his eyes at the abrupt movement. “I’m not… I like girls too, okay?” 

“Alright. Girls and boys. Both. So what?” The teen ghoul sighed softly, stepping closer to Terzo just as he moved away, not allowing the other to put much space between them. “Come on. Don’t get cold with me now.” He murmured, pursing his lips together, as he searched for the human’s eyes. 

“I’m not being cold!”

“Yes, you are. You were kissing me goodnight yesterday and now you can barely even hold eye contact.” Omega brushed the loose strand of hair off Terzo’s eyes with the back of his fingers, his knuckles gently caressing the boy’s eyebrow. He tucked the strand behind Terzo’s ear, his free hand cupping the side of the human’s neck. “We have as much right as anyone else to be in the garden. If they don’t like what they’re seeing, then maybe they should just look away.” He spoke softly, trying his best to get Terzo to reason with him. He was aware of how self conscious the boy was about the entire situation. But no matter how many times Omega tried reassuring Terzo that they weren’t doing anything wrong, he never seemed to believe him. 

The two had practically grown up together. Terzo started calling Omega his best friend since he was four. The ghoul always had his back and was the one that usually ended up comforting him, drying his tears away, whenever Secondo wasn’t around to do it himself. Though those purple eyes eventually started making Terzo feel… _things_. Things he wasn’t supposed to feel; things he wasn’t used to feeling. Sure, he had a few crushes on a couple Sisters before. But nothing could compare to what he felt whenever he was around the quintessence ghoul. 

It had completely thrown Terzo off when he realized his stomach got filled with butterflies whenever Omega laughed. All of a sudden, his heart started speeding up whenever the ghoul made eye contact with him across the room during dinner. The boy’s hands started aching for contact, craving nothing but being in Omega’s arms. The small smiles shared during music lessons turned into intense silent conversations, where they would safely tell each other what they couldn’t out loud.

“Remember our first kiss?” Omega changed the subject instead, tilting his head slightly to the side. 

Terzo let out an exasperated sigh as the blush that decorated his face grew stronger. “Of course I do.” He huffed, melting against the other’s touch gently. His eyes fluttered close as he bit at the inside of his cheek, a tender smile appearing on his face. 

“I don’t.” Secondo spoke up from behind them. He raised an eyebrow down at the startled couple, holding his hands gently behind his back, waiting for them to continue talking. Though when he was met with silence, he was forced to speak again. “Mind telling me the story?”

The ghouls, that had been in the garden gossiping about Omega and the youngest Emeritus, were long gone. Secondo just had that effect. He was definitely scarier than Primo and none of the ghouls wanted to willingly cross his path, even if that meant quite literally walking in front of him. He had been Papa for five years now and still none of the demons were used to his intimidating presence. 

Terzo jumped slightly and pushed at Omega’s chest quite abruptly, so to put some distance between them, his eyes widening at the sight of Secondo. “Fratello!” He laughed nervously, rubbing over his hands anxiously as he nodded some. “It’s so good to see you again! You came back early from your first tour, I see. How was it? I’m gonna need you to tell me everything. Did you fall off stage or something embarrassing like that?” He rambled. The teen’s eyes swiftly traveled from Secondo to Omega, who looked rather offended by the sudden display. 

The dark excellency stared at his younger brother with a hard and unfazed expression, not even blinking at his outburst. “I’m still waiting for that story.”

Omega bit at his lower lip harshly and cleared his throat. Well, that was his cue to leave. There was no way he was telling Papa Emeritus II how he made a move on his little brother. “I uh…” He cleared his throat, thankful to the one below for the mask covering his terrified expression. Though he was sure it was obvious, anyway, by how shaky his voice got. “I have band practice.” He nodded quickly, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder. 

Secondo’s eyes followed the direction of Omega’s finger and scoffed humorlessly. “At the library? Are you gonna throw a concert for the rats?”

“Yes.” Omega said seriously. He had already fucked up, so he might as well commit to it.

Points for that. Secondo silently praised his consistency, as ridiculous as it was. “Alright then. Go. Wouldn’t want to be late, hm?” He smirked in amusement, chuckling darkly to himself, as the quintessence ghoul nodded eagerly before hurrying off.

Terzo looked after Omega for a moment, raising his eyebrows as he watched the ghoul enter the library. He wondered how long he would stay there, considering the building’s only exit was the main door. He giggled softly and bit at the corner of his lower lip, letting out a fond sigh. The world around him seemed to disappear whenever he only focused on his lover. He was brought back to reality when Secondo cleared his throat, though. 

“I can explain.” Terzo rushed out, turning around to face his brother. His eyes widened in panic, lifting his hands in defeat. “It’s not what it seems.”

“Really.”

“Yes.”

“Huh.” Secondo nodded slowly and sat down at the nearest bench in the rose garden. His eyes scanned over the flowers and smiled small to himself. Primo had been working a lot on the abbey’s gardens now that he had free time. The middle sibling often wondered if his older brother missed the authority. 

“What!” Terzo scoffed and looked away, feeling his cheeks burning up under his face paint. He was sure the white wasn’t doing a great job at hiding the colour. 

“Nothing.” Secondo smirked, laughing softly at how Terzo got himself worked up over the entire situation. “I’m just glad you found a more interesting way to learn old tongues. Ghouls are great at Latin.”

Terzo stared at Secondo in slight shock and shook his head. “I can’t believe you just said that. I thought I was the brother with the bad puns, anyway.” He murmured and pursed his lips together.

The older man rolled his eyes, patting the empty spot on the bench besides him. “Come on. Sit with me.” 

Secondo knew his younger brother was special ever since he started developing his personality. He was loud and dramatic, practically embodying in one person everything that their father wanted to avoid in the Church. Nihil was always going on about how his sons needed to be nothing less than majestic. They needed a proper character if one day they wanted to ascend. Of course Terzo grew up to defy everything. Secondo secretly admired him for it. 

Everyone knew Terzo wasn’t straight, ever since he asked for a prince to come rescue him from the abbey, with some flowers and a kiss, for his fifth birthday. Which is why it surprised Secondo that, as his brother reached his teen years, he started suppressing his own feelings. 

“I didn’t kiss him.” The boy murmured as he sat down besides Secondo, bringing his knees up to his chest. He hugged himself tightly, resting his chin on a knee as he stared ahead. There was no way he was making eye contact with his brother again. Much less if the conversation would be about Omega. 

“Of course you didn’t. Because that would imply Omega took off his mask and you know ghouls aren’t allowed to do that.” 

“Right.” Terzo cleared his throat and nodded eagerly, his nails digging into his own thighs gently. “Yes, of course. Exactly. None of that happened. At all.”

“None.” Secondo hummed.

A dead silence engulfed the two and it soon became unbearable. It was a type of silence Terzo only ever felt whenever he went inside the mausoleum. The last time he had been in there he came out traumatized, so he’d rather avoid all similar situations. 

With a heavy sigh, Terzo tilted his head to the side slightly and looked up at Secondo for a moment. “Where do I even start?”

“From the beginning.” 

“It’s not like I was seeking out for him, okay?” Terzo rubbed his eyes tiredly and nibbled at the corner of his lower lip nervously. He tried his best to avoid Omega, but it all reached a point where neither of them were able to escape their own longing and desire.

“Fratellino.” Secondo stopped the boy and shook his head, frowning deeply as he shifted in his place. He faced his sibling properly and stared into his eyes for a moment. “I am not judging you and I never will.”

Terzo let out a breath he didn’t know was holding, smiling small at that. How the hell did Secondo always manage to read his mind? It was beyond his comprehension. But hell, he was certainly grateful for it.

“It was in the kitchen.”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

It all happened one night Terzo talked Omega into helping him get a midnight snack. How did they actually manage to get inside the kitchen past curfew was beyond their understanding. Unfortunately for the two, all the sweets were kept under lock and key. Key that hung protected around Sister Imperator’s neck. 

“It was midnight. I wanted cookies, so.” Terzo continued and bit at the inside of his cheek. “He suggested cooking.” He shrugged and closed his eyes at the memory. Was he really going to give Secondo the full details of it all? 

“Sounds quite romantic.” 

“Satan, shut up.” The teenager groaned and covered his face with his hands. “It was just— It was nothing. We didn’t even cook anything. Omega smudged my face with chocolate and I threw some flour back at him. It was only fair, right?”

“Right.” 

“I, in a very friendly manner, offered to clean his mask. After all, I was the one who got it dirty in the first place. Sister Imperator would’ve murdered Omega if he appeared for breakfast with a flour stained mask, so. I was being a gentleman.” 

“Mhmm.”

“It just… it just kind of happened.” Terzo’s voice lowered, holding onto his legs even tighter. He closed his eyes at the memory and let out a soft sigh, his lips beginning to tingle. He could almost feel Omega’s tongue parting them gently, just like he did whenever he deepened their kisses. 

The adoration in Terzo’s words was clear. Secondo had never seen his brother so in denial about something. Which was _a lot_ , considering how stubborn the teen could be sometimes. His eyes roamed over Terzo’s face as he spoke, suppressing his own smile as he listened to him. It was good to see him happy. He made a mental note to thank Omega about it sometime soon. It was soothing to know that Terzo had someone for emotional support whenever he was away. 

Terzo ran his hands through his hair, in a rather exasperated manner, and shrugged carelessly. He looked away once again, suddenly finding Primo’s yellow roses very interesting. Were those real? Or had he artificially coloured them? That would be cheating, though. His stream of consciousness was interrupted by Secondo’s voice. It sounded distant. He blinked, lips parting as he turned his head to look up at his brother once again.

“Sorry, what?”

With a soft chuckle, Secondo cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow as he leaned back against the bench. He took off his mitre and carefully placed it down on his lap, his thumb tracing over the embroidered grucifix. “I had a… _thing_ with a man, once.” He repeated and snickered at Terzo’s shocked expression. It had been way more intense than his usual flings; quite the passionate romance, really. He was still trying to get over the break up.

“I don’t believe you.”

Secondo rolled his eyes at that and huffed. “You’re not the only one who attracts all genders.” He waved a dismissive hand. “I’m charming.”

“You? Charming? Really.” Terzo laughed blatantly at that, raising his eyebrows in disbelief as he stared at Secondo. “Good thing dreaming is free, fratello.” He teased.

“You’re missing the point, fratellino.”

“Huh?”

“It’s okay to be with men. You can be with whoever you want. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“It’s easy for you to say. You’re normal. Of course they won’t tease you about it; you still behave like a man.” Terzo murmured and looked down at the ground, not even wanting to register Secondo’s reaction to his words. He _knew_ it was fucked up to think that. But after everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but believe it. 

Horror was clear in Secondo’s eyes, trying to process what Terzo had just said. He needed to be very careful with how he replied, or else the boy would completely shut off. “And you don’t?” He cleared his throat some, frowning deeply as he stared at him. 

“No.”

“Says who?”

Flashbacks of the night at the mausoleum flooded his mind and a visible shiver ran through Terzo’s spine. Those damned laughs still resonated through every fiber of his body. He bit at the inside of his cheek and shook his head harshly, eyes watering. “Some fire ghouls.” He murmured and wiped his unshed tears away with the back of his hands. “They locked me up.”

“Where?” Secondo asked softly, trying to stay calm through it all. After he made sure Terzo was alright, he would deal with the responsibles for his brother’s tears. 

“The mausoleum.”

“Why?”

“They said I would man up with the dark. That our ancestors would help me see the light and gain some character.” Terzo murmured and sighed shakily. “It was nothing, okay? They were right. I’m not… manly enough, anyway.” He cleared his throat and stood up in a rush. “Nice talk, fratello. It’s good to have you home.” He nodded and spun around, already hurrying away. If the other ghouls got punished, then he would get teased even more for snitching to his brother. He already struggled making friends and this would completely ruin him. 

“ _Terzo_.” Secondo growled and stood up as well, raising his eyebrows at his brother. He watched as the boy froze and pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. Okay. Too harsh maybe. “Fratellino.” He tried again, voice as smooth as silk. “Come back here.” He offered and sat back down, nodding slightly towards the spot Terzo had been previously sitting at. 

There was no fighting that voice.

Terzo slowly turned around and gave Secondo a small smile. “I was just. Stretching my legs. Did you think I was leaving? No! Never.” He laughed nervously, reluctantly making his way back to the bench. He sat down again and looked up at his brother with sad eyes. 

“Do you feel like a man?” Secondo asked softly.

“Yes.” Terzo whispered. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything, fratellino. If you _feel_ like a man, then you are one. That’s it. There’s no ‘normal’ way to act like a man or whatever bullshit those ghouls tried putting into your head.” Secondo reassured and could tell that Terzo wasn’t really convinced. But that was okay. Baby steps. 

Terzo nodded slowly at that. “Not even padre likes how I am. There must be something wrong with me.”

As he grew up, the teen tried to stop listening to his father so much. He had learned the hard way that Nihil didn’t really care for him; and though it was rough, he needed to accept it and move on. Things generally got easier to handle with the years. But when it came to his identity, he was still pretty self conscious about Nihil’s opinions. 

Secondo’s eyes darkened at that, his jaw clenching at the idea of his father telling Terzo he should change. He’d had his fair share of encounters with Nihil, most of them regarding how he treated his youngest son. He tried being polite, never wanting to disrespect his progenitor. His patience was wearing out, though. It wouldn’t be long before he would snap and had to deal with the consequences that defying his father implied. He hated seeing Terzo suffer and their father wasn’t the guidance the boy needed. 

“You’re yourself. Don’t change, not even for Nihil.” Secondo had stopped calling him padre long ago. “Nihil doesn’t know you. He may be your father, but he doesn’t know you. Not like I do. Not like Omega does. Most importantly, not like _you_ know yourself.” 

Terzo bit at his lower lip gently, sighing shakily. Secondo would never lie to him. He knew that much. “That’s true.” He smiled small. “Omega also says I’m fine.”

“Of course he does. Because there’s nothing wrong with you, Terzo. It’s okay to like men. It’s okay to like women, too. Life’s too short to be worried about what Nihil thinks. He’s practically dust, anyway.” Secondo scoffed and shrugged. 

“Yeah.” Terzo chuckled and nodded, staring into Secondo’s equally mismatched eyes. “He is getting old.”

“So is Omega, waiting in the library for nothing. You should go check up on him and the rats. He’s good for you. I like him.”

“Yeah?” Terzo’s eyes lit up as he stood up once again, unable to suppress the huge smile that appeared across his face. “He’s very attractive. Kisses wonderfully, too.” He blushed and scolded himself mentally for saying that. Definitely way too much information. 

Secondo scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Wear a condom, please.”

“ _Fratello!_ ” Terzo gasped, cheeks positively on fire, as he shook his head frantically. “Satan.” He rubbed his face with both hands, already taking a few steps back. “We’re not doing… _that_.” 

“Yet.”

“Stop!”

“Okay, okay. We’ll save that talk for the future then.” Secondo smirked, chuckling at how flustered and uncomfortable his brother seemed to get. Terzo was quite lovely. He wondered how long his sweet boy act would last before he turned into the menace he was destined to be. “Remember to be yourself, okay? Fuck everyone else. But, please, not literally.”

“I hate you.” Terzo said coldly, his face unreadable as he looked at his brother. 

Secondo watched Terzo walk away hurriedly, his pace slowly turning into a proper sprint. The boy had never ran before unless he heard the bells for dinner, or was late for black mass. Omega must really be important if Terzo was putting his legs to work like that. He smiled warmly and stood up as well, ceremoniously putting his mitre back on. 

“Now, let’s find those fire ghouls.” He whispered to himself, heading back to the abbey.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed <3


End file.
